5 signs you are a Cannabis Connoisseur

Do you call yourself a cannabis connoisseur? What is a cannabis connoisseur? What do you consider traits or signs to be a ‘cannabis connoisseur’?

Our take is that a cannabis connoisseur is a person who is one level more than an enthusiast. They’ve smoked hundreds of different cultivars and have a wide spectrum of profiles on their memory banks on where each cultivar consumed lies. A connoisseur knows their product inside out and knows how best to enjoy it.

Below are our telltale signs that you might be in this exquisite group.

TDLR:

1. You have superhuman senses for profiling flowers as a cannabis connoisseur.
2. You smell your heirloom in the morning.
3. You have a bachelors in cannabis linguistics.
4. You have an art gallery compilation nug porn on your phone – got to be super hi-res.
5. You have a particular go-to grinder that you have an affinity towards.

Photo by Ahmed Zayan on Unsplash

You have Spiderman-smelling senses as a cannabis connoisseur.

(but reserved for them special flowers)

At almost 90% accuracy, you can grade the quality of the buds in the dispensary jars and narrow down all sorts of information from the plant-based solely on your sense of smell.

Indica? Sativa? CBD dominant? THC dominant. Terpenes? A bit of limonene?

It’s a special smell mode where you’re zoned in, and it’s just your nose and those sweet, aromatic buds. Every time you crack open a bag or jar, the smell teleports you far back into a memory compartment and is strong enough to trigger memories of past lives! (no, I am just messing with you on that last one, but if true, let us know in the comments!)

Your connection with these plants is so deep it runs down to the epigenetics level.

The gases radiating from each bud puts you in a flow state. You’re good.

You smell your flowers every morning

photo: reddit u/thechronickid_00

A big telltale sign is that you wake up to smell the roses.

You know, that jar near your bed.

Yes, you. You love your flowers so much it’ll be like smelling the roses each morning. But instead of roses, you wake up to those aromas of caryophyllene, limonene, pinene, myrcene, or terpinolene profiles!

Before even looking out the window to see the hint of sunlight, you unconsciously roll over to your favorite glass jar (or jars), pop the airtight lid open, and have a whiff of those terpenes packed with the aromas from the universe.

This is why you wake up; you live and breathe cannabis as cannabis connoisseur loves this.

You have a degree in cannabis linguistics.

Photo: ibreakstock/Shutterstock

You’ve seen all the cannabis documentaries and trawled through the forum or followed different channels on platforms like Reddit and discord. You might not know anything about that business degree you spent a few years ‘studying,’ but mark my words, you know your cannabis shit. Ounces? Quads? Purps? Terpenes? Sesh? You got dis.

There’s no term out there to phase you because they are not only words but also your primary tongue to communicate with fellow Canadians.

“It’s got that pungent diesel aroma.”

“This smokes like a blue dream.”

“Oh man, I am going to have a weed nap.”

It would help if you had this language to get by when you turn into an Ent, especially when you’ve dosed up too much THC.

In Cannabia, you need to speak in Cannabish. Capiche?

You have nug porn on your phone.

Photo: u/thechronickid_00

You look at this when you are depressed. It brings back good memories. Dopamine good times are jet fuelled by your cannabinoid friends. Look up “Proustian Moment.”

Each flower has got its distinct beauty, color and shape. You even have notes of those flowers on record just in case or for those sweet reviews.

To you, they are not merely porn but art produced by growers. An art that has taken years to master and months to grow, so you know the true value of these flowers.

You have the *best* grinder.

Photo: u/TheStonedApe237

It might not be the most expensive one, but you did your research to your budget. You might have tried a few but narrowed it down to the type of grind you want for your consumption preferences.
Do you need it shredded? Or broken down to a fine consistency to be consumed via vape, joint, blunt, bong, or pipe? It’s a solid piece of work and breaks and opens up your flowers like no tomorrow.
It’s a perfect weight and was built from the same factory they made the space shuttle discovery. Feels like you’re holding something valuable in your hands. None of these slave labor chemical-ridden products.
Also, always usually comes with a lifetime warranty. Moreover, got to love how much love and attention manufacturers go through to keep us happy.
And here’s Derek Gilman to show you his prized possessions and maybe give you some ideas for your next loot as cannabis connoisseur.

So there’s our list. How did you match up? Let us know what else it takes to be a connoisseur below.