5 signs you are a Cannabis Connoisseur

Do you call yourself a cannabis connoisseur? What is a cannabis connoisseur? What do you consider traits or signs to be a ‘cannabis connoisseur’?

Our take is that a cannabis cannabis connoisseur is a person who is one level more than an enthusiast. They’ve smoked hundreds of different cultivars and have a wide spectrum of profiles on their memory banks on where each cultivar consumed lies. A connoisseur knows their product inside out and knows how best to enjoy it.

Below are our telltale signs that you might be in this exquisite group.

TDLR:

  1. You have superhuman senses for profiling flowers.
  2. You smell your heirloom in the morning.
  3. You have a bachelors in cannabis linguistics.
  4. You have an art gallery compilation nug porn on your phone – got to be super hi res.
  5. You have a particular go to grinder that you have an affinity towards.

Photo by Ahmed Zayan on Unsplash

You have Spiderman smelling senses

(but reserved for them special flowers)

You can, at almost 90% accuracy, grade the quality of the buds in the dispensary jars and can narrow down all sorts of information from the plant based solely off your sense of smell.

Indica? Sativa? CBD dominant? THC dominant. Terpenes? A bit of limonene?

It’s a special smell mode where you’re zoned in and it’s just your nose and those sweet pungent buds. Every time you crack open a bag or jar the smell teleports you far back into a compartment of memory and if strong enough to trigger memories of past lives! (no I am just messing with you on that last one but if true let us know in the comments!)

Your connection with these plants are so deep it runs down to the epigenetics level.

The gases radiating from each bud puts you in flow state. You’re goood.

You smell your flowers every morning

photo: reddit u/thechronickid_00

A big telltale sign is that you wake up to smell the roses.

You know, that jar near your bed.

Yes, you. You love your flowers so much it’ll be like smelling the roses each morning. But instead of roses you wake up to those aromas of caryophyllene, limonene, pinene, myrcene or terpinolene profiles!

Before even looking out the window to see the hint of sunlight you unconsciously roll over to your favourite glass jar (or jars) pop the airtight lid open and have a whiff of those terpenes packed with the aromas from the universe.

This why you wake up, you literally live and breathe cannabis.

You have a degree in cannabis linguistics

Photo: ibreakstock/Shutterstock

You’ve seen all the cannabis documentaries and trawled through the forum or followed different channels on platforms like reddit and discord. You might not know anything about that business degree you spent a few years ‘studying’ but mark my words you know your cannabis shit. Ounces? Quads? Purps? Terpenes? Sesh? You got dis.

There’s no term out there to phase you because, not only are they words, but they are your primary tongue to communicate with other fellow Cannabians.

“It’s got that diesely pungent aroma”

“This smokes like a blue dream.”

“Oh man, I am going to have a weed nap.”

You need this language to get by when you turn into an Ent, especially when you’ve dosed up with too much THC.

In Cannabia you need to speak in Cannabish. Capiche?

You have nug porn on your phone

Photo: u/thechronickid_00

You look at this when you are depressed. It brings back good memories. Dopamine good times jet fuelled by your cannabinoid friends. Look up “Proustian Moment“.

Each flower has got its distinct beauty. Each colour. Each shape. You even have notes of those flower on record just in case or for those sweet reviews.

To you they are not merely porn but art produced by growers. An art that has taken years to master and months to grow so you know the true value of these flowers.

You have the *best* grinder

Photo: u/TheStonedApe237

Might not be the most expensive one but you did your research to your own budget. You might have tried a few but narrowed it down to the type of grind you want for your consumption preferences.

Do you need it shredded? Or broken down to a fine consistency to be consumed via vape, joint, blunt, bong or pipe? It’s a solid piece of work and breaks and opens up your flowers like no tomorrow.

It’s the perfect weight and built from the same factory they made the space shuttle discovery. Feels like you’re holding something valuable in your hands. None of this slave labour chemical ridden products.

Also always usually comes with a lifetime warranty. Got to love how much love and attention manufacturers go through to keep us happy.

And here’s Derek Gilman to show you his prized possessions and maybe give you some ideas for your next loot.

So there’s our list. How did you match up? Let us know what else it takes to be a connoisseur below.

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